Casting the Bad Guys

Every actor has roles he or she prefers to play.  Do they want to be the likable character?  Do they want to be a character they can relate to?  Do they want the most challenging role?  

In Foreward, nearly every character is complicated.  As is true in real life, the fictionalized characters in Foreward don’t always make good decisions.  They are flawed, just like real people.  Sometimes it’s hard to like them.

Casting the shooter was a partially strange task.  For me, it is important that every character in Foreward is multifaceted, and that we can feel empathy for their unique struggles.  This character, Keith, only occurs in the story briefly, and I wanted to make sure that the actor who played him wasn’t just approaching the character from a place of anger.  Keith was also sad and deeply lonely.  

When the actor who played him, Russ Neilsen, arrived at my home we sat in the backyard, 6 feet apart, and discussed the part.  He said to me:

“I want my performance to honor the real victims of the tragedy this story is based on.  I also want to honor the family of the perpetrator.”  

I hadn’t really considered that last piece. Where is his family now?  What do their lives look like?  Does Keith’s legacy still plague them?  

Russ went into the recording space and became Keith.  I directed him.  I could feel my heartbeat start to race.  Russ’s performance was incredible.  It was disturbing.  It was exhilarating.  It was heartbreaking.  It took me back to a place I haven’t been since 2006. 

When we got to Russ’s final lines, I told him to imagine a life in which things had always been hard.  Things were always painful, right up until the end.  He knew he was going to die.  He knew that this was the end, and that things never got better for him.  Keith had run out of energy to try.  What might those last words sound like?  

“I told you to stay away from me,” Russ screamed.  His voice was angry.  It was sad.  It was shaking.  It was totally defeated, and I felt a tear roll down my check.    

When Russ was finished recording we walked to the front porch and said our goodbyes.  Throughout the recording process for Foreward, I’ve paid particular attention to staying 6 feet apart from my actors, but in that moment something peculiar happened… Russ hugged me.  The 2 hours we recorded together were intense.  I don’t know if Russ needed a hug, or if Russ knew that I needed one.  Either way, we stopped acting then.  We stopped pretending.  I wasn’t a director.  He wasn’t an actor.  We spent a moment being human… recognizing that each of us and the characters we sometimes play are complicated. 

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